


Let Your Feelings Roll On By

by ecstasyseeker



Category: We Bought a Zoo
Genre: Dylan is a dick because I said so, F/M, Mentions of Sex, legal alcohol usage, stream we bought a zoo (2011)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 17:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21201080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ecstasyseeker/pseuds/ecstasyseeker
Summary: Kelly and Benjamin have unresolved feelings and a Thing about New Years'. Alternatively titled: Scenes From A Zoo.





	Let Your Feelings Roll On By

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I am very aware that very few if any people will read this seeing as the demand for fucking We Bought A Zoo fanfiction is virtually nonexistent but I watched the film for the first time since 2011 back in August and had a verifiable brain explosion and eded up writing this. It has been sitting in my Google docs ever since and I figured it was time to let it go.
> 
> So... If you ARE reading this... Enjoy?

_ The Patron logo. Stumbling up stairs. Jeans being pulled off legs. Benjamin’s voice. Her own laugh…  _

It’s morning when Kelly finally wakes, if the birds’ auspicious chirping outside and the wide rays of sunlight shining through the curtains are any indication. The cool autumn breeze meanders in through the window as she stretches her arms above her head, using one to cover her tightly shut eyes. 

By any standards, it’s a beautiful morning. It’s the first day of October, the zoo’s successful summer season coming to a close after a wonderful—albeit rainy—few months. They brought in enough money over the summer to keep them afloat during the off-season, so after closing up on the last evening of September, the staff gathered at The Jaguar to celebrate.

Most elated of them all was Kelly, so proud to see the place she loved so dearly return to its’ purpose: Serving the animals and bringing joy to the faces of so many. Just thinking about it, the laughter at Robin’s monkey, the looks of awe at Solomon, the copious amounts of popsicles consumed by visitors… It warms her heart. Those thoughts warm her almost as much as the tequila, which she’s sure she consumed even more of in one night than Rosie consumed of aforementioned popsicles in a whole month. Yes, she sure was proud.

Needless to say, this beautiful morning is a bit more difficult to enjoy with a searing headache and the inevitable nausea that comes with being wildly hungover. She’s content to roll over in her bed and sleep for another hour or three when she hears the telltale sound of rushed feet pattering down the hallway. That gives her pause.

Carefully, and just barely, she opens one eye. Upon observing what is most definitely not her bedroom, she sits up abruptly. A mistake, as it turns out, as her head positively throbs and she clutches it with a groan and roll of her eyes.

She knows what she did. She may not remember all the details just yet, but she feels it in the way one feels that something bad is about to happen. This isn’t her bedroom, it’s Benjamin’s, and to make matters worse, she’s not wearing any clothes. Well, she’s not  _ naked _ . At the very least, she’s still wearing her underwear. Despite that one relief, even worse is the realization that she has absolutely no idea where her clothes are. Shit.

Swallowing down the uneasiness in her stomach, both from the hangover and the anxiety of her current situation, she scans the rest of the room. No shirt, no pants, no Benjamin. She looks at the clock. It’s 9:03, much later than she’s accustomed to waking up, and it makes sense that Rosie is up and ready for breakfast, bright and bubbly as always. Kelly’s reluctant to admit that her stomach roils once again at the thought of breakfast, and of being bright and bubbly herself. Again, the urge to go back to bed is strong, but her mission objective is more important. Find clothes. Get the hell out of here. Don’t let the kids see you. Don’t worry about the implications, at least not yet. The bare minimum, she can do this.

Or, she could do this, if her clothes were in this damn bedroom. It’s a nice room, she notes, the comforter thick and cozy and the sheets soft and smooth. Hardwood floors that creak in a way that is endearing rather than annoying, and old, pleasantly faded patterned wallpaper. A wooden dresser, atop which is covered with picture frames of Benjamin, Dylan, Rosie, Nathan, and a lovely woman she assumes is Katherine. Suddenly, Kelly feels guilty. She woke up in Benjamin’s bed with only a bra, panties, and scraps of memory from the night before. Shots. Clinging to Benjamin in the bar. Dancing with him? Throwing up… on him? God. This is a new low. 

Of course the flirtation between herself and Benjamin had been a verifiable constant throughout the summer, how could it not? She made the move. She told him she had a crush on him and kissed him right there on opening day. She still remembers the butterflies and the sound she failed to suppress as he kissed her back.

After that, it got... lost in the shuffle. Lost in the hustle and bustle of running a zoo with a still sparse faculty. Lost in the stress, the problem-solving, the exhausted feelings after long days.

It wasn’t that she’d been avoiding Benjamin, she just... Wanted to give him space. Which is stupid, she thinks, because he did kiss her back. He hugged her back, he held her hand in a way that was certainly mutual. Hell, he’d told her she was pretty, right before all but rejecting her. But he’d evolved, they’d evolved. Losing Spar, almost losing the zoo, and almost losing sanity had brought them closer together. Until it was put on a sort of unexplained hiatus for no apparent reason. The thought frustrates her until she’s sprinting into Benjamin’s en suite to empty her booze-ridden stomach into the toilet. 

When she’s finished, she sits back, groaning, but making a decision. Excessive thinking right now is a definite no. Focus on the mission. Step one, find clothes. She staggers back into the bedroom, glancing at the floor, and concludes that her clothes are once again not present. She glances at the closet, at that worn dresser against the far wall again. Is it too forward to wear something of Benjamin’s? She’d obviously return it, they live on the same property and all, but is that weird? Probably. What if the kids see her? They won’t, she reminds herself, that won’t happen because it’s part of the mission. The mission that’s going oh so swimmingly thus far. 

_ Screw it,  _ Kelly thinks,  _ go big or don’t go home and stay in this room forever.  _ She rifles through the drawers a bit before finding a pair of gray sweatpants that she has to roll the waistband of at least four times, and moves to the closet where she finds a blue pullover sweatshirt. She throws that on over her black bra and creeps carefully over the creaky planks to the door. One quiet step at a time, as if she’s evading a hungry tiger. She’s almost made it to the stairs when-

“Kelly?” 

She freezes. Shit. She turns to see who of course decided to wake his teenager self up at the most inopportune moment he could have chosen. She does her best to act casual, despite knowing there’s absolutely no way she’s getting out of this one.

“Hey, Dylan,” She starts, “Good morning?” 

His facial expression tells her that he apparently does not think it’s a good morning, not at all. He pushes past her without looking up again and stomps down the stairs. Shit, again. 

“Dad, why didn’t you tell us you had company?” Kelly hears Dylan say in the kitchen, in the passive aggressive way only an almost fifteen year old can. Begrudgingly, she recognizes this as her cue to go downstairs herself. The jig is up, no more hiding. 

“Company? What company?” Rosie’s ever-innocent voice comes next. Should she go in there? Maybe Benjamin doesn’t want Rosie to know. Maybe if this is too upsetting for Dylan, it’s definitely too upsetting for Rosie. Maybe Kelly should just slip out before she can inflict further damage upon his lovely children on this lovely autumn morning.

Finally, she hears Benjamin’s voice and her spiral of thoughts is granted an interruption. “The company that’s lurking behind the wall over there and should stop hovering and come in.” 

She stumbles a bit at that, knocking into the wall. Her reflexes are off, and so must be her stealthiness. However, it’s not like she has extensive experience in the field of walks of shame, especially not in the past few years. Ever so shamefully, she enters the kitchen.

“Kelly!” Rosie exclaims, rushing to hug one of her favorite people. Of all the great things Benjamin brought into her life when he bought the zoo, Rosie was among the very best. Before Kelly can formulate a reply, Rosie continues with an eager grin, “Daddy’s making pancakes, do you want some?” 

“I, uh—“

“She’ll want some of my world famous pancakes at some point, Rosie, but for now I’m guessing what she really wants is coffee.” 

“Oh, yes, please.” She taps Rosie’s head, hair still rumpled from sleeping, as she crosses the kitchen to Benjamin’s outstretched arm and accepts the mug. It feels warm in her hands, grounding, and if nothing else in this moment is okay, the coffee is perfect. She’s never told Benjamin how she likes it, but she isn’t surprised he knows. He has a knack for things like that, of knowing what people like and what people need. A few clashing instances with his son aside, of course. Kelly glances at the oddly-shaped pancakes on Rosie’s plate, leaning against the counter next to Benjamin. “World famous, huh?”

“World famous as in they’re the only thing I even remotely know how to cook.” Benjamin replies and she can’t help but smile, remembering the utterly inedible Labor Day hot dogs. 

It’s then, she realizes that this situation isn’t as far from okay as she thought it would be. It’s still uncomfortable, of course, seeing as Dylan is still watching her like a hawk out of the corner of his eye, but Benjamin is looking at her differently, and Rosie has her attention focused back on her breakfast. It almost feels... nice. Like she wouldn’t mind doing this again and again. It’s an unsettling thought, one much more domestic than she’s had in years, and she quickly pushes it away, instead opting to thank Benjamin for the coffee.

“It’s the least I can do,” He replies, “Well, that and wash the clothes you threw up all over.” He lowers his voice at the last part and she flushes in embarrassment. At least that explains why her clothes were missing. It still doesn’t explain why she woke up in his bed. Either way, it’s not exactly a kid-appropriate conversation.

“Well, thank you for that, too. I’m so, so sorry.” She sheepishly responds.

“Really, it’s no big deal. Hey, Rosie, why don’t you go feed Leon. Dylan, go see if you freed any more exotic snakes.” Rosie disappears gleefully, Dylan less so, but in no time Kelly and Benjamin have the kitchen to themselves. 

“Oh, my god, I’m so mortified.” Kelly starts in a futile attempt to apologize for the course last night seemingly took.

“About which part?” He says, a teasing glint in his eye and a smirk on his face, neither of which she finds amusing.

“What?” She asks incredulously.

“Just... I want to know what you think happened last night.” Benjamin bemusedly replies, failing to mask his grin through a sip of his own coffee.

Confused and a bit frustrated, she continues. “...Why? Do I even want to know?” She scowls in a way he’s sure to notice. 

“That bad, huh?” The statement tightens the knot in her stomach, but Benjamin still has a humorous smirk on his face. It irks her and coils her gut even tighter. It’s not that she’s so overwhelmingly repulsed at the idea of sleeping with Benjamin, its just… its something she’d kind of like to remember if she did.

“Please. Wh—“ She checks over her shoulder to make sure they’re still alone before swallowing and continuing, voice even lower, “Did we have sex?” 

Benjamin snorts, sputtering around his coffee. “You did not seriously just ask that!”

“What?!” Kelly exclaims in return, “It’s a valid question, seeing as I woke up in your bed with no clothes and no recollection of the night before.”

“You really think I’d take advantage of a woman as inebriated as you were last night? Wow, Kelly, I thought you had more respect for me than that. Guess I’m not a gentleman.” Benjamin continues to tease.

She quickly shakes her head, “I do—”

“Let me finish.” He looks at her this time, and the teasing glint is gone, however his gaze certainly isn’t lacking warmth. “I wasn’t about to let you go back to your mother’s house in that condition. I thought you were going to pass out and choke on your own vomit, or something. Obviously, I’d rather you don’t die, and you were pretty adamant that I didn’t leave you to your mother, so I brought you back here. Then I took your puke-stained clothes off, waited until you were knocked out, put your clothes in with the laundry, and slept on the couch.” 

His explanation is yet another thing that gives her pause that morning. “Wait. You’re saying we  _ didn’t _ have sex?” 

“That is, in fact, what I’m saying.” Relief floods her as the confirmation hits her ears.

“Oh, thank God.”

“Ouch,” He laughs.

“No, that’s not what I— You know what I mean,” Kelly struggles to find an adequate explanation as Benjamin raises his eyebrows, clearly getting a kick out of her being so flustered. “Obviously, I would love to— I— Fuck.”

“That’s a bad word!”

Kelly and Benjamin turn to see that Rosie has reentered the kitchen, automatically putting their conversation on hold. Dylan comes in soon after, placing Kelly’s jeans and sweater on the kitchen table before storming off upstairs. That’s a hint if she’d ever been given one. 

“I should... Probably be going.” Kelly offers into the new silence.

“But you haven’t had any pancakes!” Rosie protests. 

“Another time, I will, I promise.” She says, not knowing if it’s more directed to the seven year old, Benjamin, or herself, and scoops up her clean clothes. “I’ll see you guys. And I’ll return your clothes, Benjamin.”

“Eh, just keep them. That sweatshirt’s been looking for a fresh start anyway.” Benjamin supplies, barely holding back a comment of the  _ They Look Better On You _ variety if the look in his eyes is any indication.

Kelly nods, trying and failing to suppress a smile, gives one last wave at Rosie, and heads for the door. Passing the living room, she catches a glimpse of a blanket and pillow arranged into a makeshift bed on the couch, and her smile grows larger and even more unavoidable. It’s only when she exits the house and starts walking back to her own that her headache returns.

* * *

_ “Okay, that’s enough,” Benjamin says, quick to intervene when he unfortunately views Kelly vomit all down herself. Fortunately, he manages to keep himself out of a splash zone, but he would’ve accepted a drop or two if it meant her embarrassment stops here. _

_ “Enough of what? I’m havin’ a good time, Ben. Jamin.” _

_ He grabs her hands so she’ll look him in the eye. “Enough of tequila. Enough of the bar. Do you want to go home like this?” _

_ Kelly scrunches her eyes shut, seemingly comprehending the logistics of dealing with her mother in this position. She frowns. “No.” _

_ “Okay, would you rather stay at my place?” He says, fully comprehending the implications of this offer. Kelly’s frown dissipates.  _

_ “I like that idea, boss.” She whispers lowly, the term boss making him shudder a bit. He shakes it off, wrapping an arm around her and guiding her into the chilly night air.  _

* * *

“Pizza alright? Okay, great. I look forward to it. See you.” At the sound of the dial tone, Benjamin thumbs his phone off with a feeling of silly anticipation lodged in his chest. Kelly has accepted his offer to come over for dinner that evening, and even though he saw her this morning, has seen her every day since he moved here, this time feels different. Special. 

The Rosemoor Animal Park will be closed for a spell as they transition from the normal season to the fall activities, and eventually the holiday ones, and it feels as though a new beginning is blooming. With less business to attend to, they finally have some time to breathe. It feels nice. Benjamin missed breathing, as much as he loves and cherishes his adventures. Of course, the ones he used to partake in usually didn’t include near bankruptcy or almost getting mauled by a bear. They also didn’t include a certain electrifyingly beautiful zookeeper who was coming to his house in an hour expecting pizza he has yet to order. He decides that he should get on that, and then worry about what to wear and what to say and how to make sure this good feeling he has doesn’t fizzle out. First order of business, order pizza. 

Precisely fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rings. It has to be Kelly, even though she told him seven thirty and it’s not even seven fifteen and she’s not usually the type to arrive early. That is, unless she’s as anxious to see him as he is to see her.

Benjamin opens the door to see a man standing there who is most definitely not Kelly. His dark, carelessly styled yet well kept hair, deep brown eyes and sharp jawline pair with his tall stature and elevated posture. He radiates a collected and confident air in a way that is not entirely pleasant. 

“Can I help you?” Benjamin asks. He’s never seen this man before, and the zoo is closed, he has reason to be puzzled.

“Are you Benjamin Mee?”

“I am.” 

“I’m Matthew St. Clair. I’m a writer for the Southern California Star, and I was wondering if I could get a few quotes from you for a piece I’m working on.” 

Benjamin recognizes that name. It’s the newspaper that somehow got a hold of the story of Buster’s escape months after it happened, either from traffic cameras in town or from a loose lipped veterinarian, and published a smear article about it. Business was down for two weeks because some questionably qualified reporter deemed the zoo unsafe. All of this aside, there’s something about this guy Benjamin just doesn’t care for. 

“Sir, I’m afraid this is private property. I’m going to kindly ask you to leave.” Benjamin asserts

“Come on, Ben, just one comment.” He persists, obviously irritated. 

“It’s Benjamin, and I’m not going to ask you to leave again.” 

“Alright, fine,” The man--Matthew--turns back to his black jeep to go, but not before calling over his shoulder, “Look for the story in the paper next week.” 

Benjamin doesn’t reply, just slams the door, determined not to let this ruin his evening. Right then, the doorbell rings again, and Benjamin angrily swings the door open. 

“Did I not tell you to get off my property?” He shoots sternly.

“Uh, no?” The pizza delivery man responds. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Thank you. Hold on, let me get your tip.”

* * *

_ Benjamin moves slowly up the front steps, careful that Kelly doesn’t stumble or fall and add blood to the collection of fluids present on her clothing. _

_ Her feet are unsteady, which is understandable given the amount of tequila she consumed in the amount of time she consumed it, and she relies heavily on him to move forward. Her body is warm as she leans against him, the smell of her hair so close and difficult for Benjamin to ignore. _

_ Eventually, they reach his front door, then the bottom of his stairs, then the top after quite an odyssey. He all but pushes her along the creaky floorboards of the upstairs hallway before they reach an unimposing pine door.  _

_ “Is this your bedroom?” She asks, voice not quite low enough to be considered a whisper. _

_ “Lower your voice, my kids are sleeping. And yes.” He replies, voice much quieter than hers. _

_ She seems to ignore his first statement, gasping at a normal volume. “Are you trying to get me into bed?” _

_ “Not covered in vomit, I’m not.” _

* * *

Not too many minutes after the pizza arrives, Benjamin is seated at the table surrounded by his son, his daughter, and Kelly, all enjoying their dinner and easy conversation. Well, kind of.

The pizza is from the only place that will deliver to them, and considering Benjamin’s lack of cooking skills, it’s a relatively common meal in the Mee household. Although, if Rosie and Dylan are sick of it, they haven’t clued their father in. He hopes they’re enjoying it. As for the conversation, it’s great for Kelly, Rosie, and Benjamin, but it isn’t necessarily all-inclusive. Dylan has been eating his pizza in silence for the past several minutes, only uttering  _ “Pass the napkins,”  _ and _ “No, Rosie, I don’t want to hear your story about the peacocks.” _

Of course, both adults notice this behavior, and Benjamin knows that Kelly knows this bothers him. It probably bothers her, too. 

So when Dylan opens his mouth the next time, only to say  _ “Whatever, I don’t care,” _ in response to Kelly’s attempt to get him into the conversation, Benjamin breaks his silence on the matter.

“What is your problem today?” He asks his son.

“You should know, Dad,” Dylan retorts, almost vitriolic.

“Well, I don’t know. I thought we were past this behavior.” He did. After his son had made up with Lily, things had been good. Maybe something was going on there that he didn’t know about.

“We  _ were _ past it, until you decided to fuck Kelly when Mom hasn’t even been dead a year.”

Kelly’s mouth drops open in shock, even Rosie’s eyes go wide. “Hey! First of all, you do not say that word. Second of all, the fact that you would even insinuate this is absurd-”

“I’m not stupid, Dad! She walked out of your room in your clothes this morning!”

“Rosie, let’s go hang out on the porch. I would love to hear more about the peacocks.” Kelly interjects, a bit rattled but doing a stellar job concealing it. Benjamin shoots her an apologetic look on her way out of the dining room. When he hears the front door close, he turns back to his son. 

“What the  _ hell _ is your problem?” Dylan just glares, and it takes everything in Benjamin’s power not to raise his voice, “Do you have any idea how disrespectful that just was? Are you going to answer me or just glare at me?”

“How long have you been screwing Kelly? Answer me that.” Dylan’s voice is even, his eyebrows deeply furrowed, his mouth a firm straight line. 

“Kelly and I are not in a relationship like that, and frankly, it’s none of your goddamn business if we were.” Dylan’s face fractures a bit, and Benjamin lays off. “Do you have something you want to say to me, instead of causing a scene in front of your sister and someone I care about?”

“Why are you doing this?” Dylan asks, jaw clenched tightly.

“What?”

“Forgetting about Mom.” Hearing the crack in his son’s voice, Benjamin’s face changes from hot anger to parental concerned. 

“Dylan, why would you say that? I am  _ not _ forgetting your mother. I will  _ never _ forget your mother.”

“Why not? You’re moving on, I know you are.”

“Okay, you know what, you’re right. There is something between me and Kelly. But I am an adult, and I lost my wife almost a year ago. That’s a kind of pain you don’t ever fully recover from. But if I want to pursue a new relationship, I’m entitled to that.” Benjamin explains. 

“Kelly’s not Mom! She’s never going to be Mom!” Dylan spits back, still very obviously upset with the beginnings of tears in his eyes. 

“No, she’s not Mom. She’s not trying to be Mom. She’s someone who came into my life, our lives, at a time where we really needed someone like her. She is important to me, whether you like it or not. Okay? She makes me happy.” Upon hearing this, Dylan’s face softens slightly. Benjamin goes on, “If me liking her upsets you, I’m sorry, I’ll keep it out of your stream of consciousness. But I’m not going to give up whatever it is we have, and I’m not going to forget your mom either. I hope you can accept that.” He finishes earnestly.

Dylan swallows. Benjamin waits. They stare. Dylan drops his eyes to his hands, where they’re folded in his lap. “I’m sorry I said those things.” He says after several moments of tense silence.

“It’s okay.” Benjamin promises, “I know these past several months have been hard for you. They’ve been hard for all of us.”

“I know. That’s why I’m sorry.” He seems sincere enough, so Benjamin decides to let it go. 

“I accept your apology. You still owe one to Kelly, though.” Benjamin offers a tentative smile despite the stern tone of his last statement, and Dylan nods and seems to return it. The conflict hasn’t been resolved, per se, but he doesn’t think Dylan is likely to spiral back into a mood like today’s next time he sees Kelly. After the apology, that is. 

“I will. May I be excused?” The manners are unusual, and Benjamin’s suspicions about lingering tension are confirmed. Nevertheless, Benjamin acquiesces. 

“Sure, kid. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight,” Dylan replies, already halfway up the stairs. Benjamin takes a moment to sit at the table, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. He knows he has to put his children’s happiness before his own, but there’s something about Kelly that he just can’t seem to shake. He utilizes this opportunity to seek out his daughter and his… Kelly, where they disappeared to the porch, presumably. 

Upon his arrival, Benjamin encounters a sight that nearly melts him. Kelly is lounging on the porch swing, a sweet sleeping seven year old in her arms. The air is cool with crisp, fresh air, the stars shining brightly above them. When Kelly turns her head to smile at him, Benjamin notes that he is completely content in this moment. 

“I’ll just take her up to bed,” He offers quietly so as to not wake Rosie. 

“Sure,” Kelly replies, shifting so Benjamin can pick up his daughter. Gently, he lifts the small girl to his chest and again reaches for the door. 

“Wait here?” 

“Sure,” Kelly says again, smiling at him in that way she always does. 

He gets Rosie tucked into her bed in no time, leaving her with a kiss to her forehead and her nightlight aglow. She didn’t even wake up during the transition, giving Benjamin a feeling of gratitude and a different kind of warmth at how comfortable one of his children feels around Kelly, even if the same can’t be said for the eldest. 

He reaches the bottom of the stairs once more and steps back out into the chilled air to see Kelly sitting right on the seat where he left her. 

“I am so, so sorry about Dylan. I had no idea he was gonna do that.” Benjamin sighs, filling the seat next to Kelly. 

“Please. Of course you didn’t expect your son to accuse you of fucking your employee at the dinner table,” She deadpans, and the vulgarity of it all makes his stomach twist.

“I really am sorry, it’s just… I don’t mean to make excuses for my son, but, having you around... He-he thinks I’m forgetting his mother. Moving on too quickly.” He feels flustered and embarrassed as he attempts to explain.

“Ben…”

“No, I know, it’s ridiculous. He’s been having a hard time, and he’s probably also a little extra on edge considering Katherine’s birthday is next week.” Benjamin says that with a strain in his voice and Kelly sighs. 

After a few pondering moments, Kelly replies, “Benjamin, look at me.” He obliges, “If you need to prioritize your children, you should. Their happiness is more important than whatever might happen between us.” 

“Logically, I know that, but I…” He trails off, looking the other direction.

“Okay, forget about what Dylan thinks for a second.” He looks at her quizzically, she continues, “Do  _ you _ think  _ you’re _ ready?” 

Benjamin looks away again, thinking. “Honestly?” He forces himself to turn back, meet her eyes. They’re looking back at him rather expectantly. Twenty seconds of courage. “I don’t know if I’m ready. But I do know that I’d like to take you on a date. A real one.” By the look on Kelly’s face, she’s surprised. At least she looks pleasantly surprised. “At like… A restaurant, or something.” 

His floundering breaks the fragile layer of tension, and Kelly breathes out an amused chuckle, “It really has been a while since you dated, hasn’t it?” 

This makes him laugh, too. “It’s painfully obvious, isn’t it?” 

“Yes, but don’t worry. It’s just me. I can be the practice round.” She always resorts to quips, and briefly, Benjamin wonders if it’s some sort of defense mechanism. He learned all about those in the grief support group he was recommended to attend right after he lost Katherine. 

He doesn’t want her to just be the practice round, he knows for certain, and he doesn’t want her to have to use defense mechanisms on him, but he doesn’t know how to articulate any of that, so he deflects. “Is that a yes?”

Kelly smiles at him again, nodding gently. “It’s a yes.” 

Relieved, Benjamin beams. He takes a risk, reaching over and squeezing her knee. She covers his hand with her own and squeezes back. “I’ll hold you to it.” 

“I certainly hope so.” Kelly stands, making to leave, and Benjamin stands with her. For a moment, he thinks she’ll just walk away, but she turns instead. “Goodnight, Benjamin.”

She punctuates the sentiment with a burning kiss to his cheek, one that lingers and seems to tingle when she pulls away. Then, she’s gone.

“Goodnight, Kelly,” He eventually responds, but it was probably too quiet and she was probably too far away to hear him. As Benjamin watches her go, he acknowledges, not for the first time, that he’s in trouble.

He can still feel where she kissed him. He holds onto that feeling as he retires to his own bed, where the pillow still faintly smells like her. 

* * *

_ Benjamin opens his bedroom door and guides her inside. She trips a bit crossing the threshold, emitting a faint yelp, and Benjamin once again tells her to “Shh, my kids are sleeping, remember?” _

_ “I r’member!” She responds, volume even higher than her yelp and Benjamin shakes his head.  _

_ “You have to take this sweater off.” He says, gentle yet stern. Kelly raises her eyebrows, of course she does. _

_ “Whatever you say, boss,” She replies, fumbling with the hem. Benjamin sighs and helps her remove it, pointedly averting his eyes from her plain black bra. _

_ He gingerly sets the soiled sweater aside before motioning her to sit on the edge of his bed. He continues to ignore the smirk upon her lips, the sultry look in her eye as she watches him work. _

* * *

Two Saturdays later, Benjamin is in fact holding Kelly to her commitment. He called her on the walkie, of all things, exactly five days ago to make the plans. She was busy working on the new giraffe enclosure with MacCready at the time, and for that reason Kelly is unlikely to live it down anytime soon.

She remembers the conversation quite vividly, the beep of her radio, the  _ “Kelly, it’s Benjamin, what are you doing this Saturday, say, seven o’clock?” _

She remembers the puzzled expression she sent MacCready before answering into the microphone,  _ “Um… Nothing?” _

And of course she remembers what Benjamin said next. A simple, non-negotiable,  _ “We’re changing that.” _

She really didn’t have a choice but to agree, not that she’d want another choice or take it if she had one. It was even more incriminating when he called on the walkie again five minutes later to ask,  _ “Do you like Italian?” _

Kelly just rolled her eyes and laughed exhaustedly, knowing this was just the beginning. It took a few days for her nerves to set in over the giddy anticipation, and she wasn’t sure why she was even nervous in the first place. It’s just Benjamin. He’s seen her at her worst already, stressed, sad, angry, even at him, drunk off her ass… Any way you look at it, he knows her, and she likes to think she knows him too. 

Five o’clock rolls around, and Kelly showers. Five turns into six, and she’s done her hair. Nothing particularly special, only slightly more styled than her typical natural waves. She does put on a bit more makeup than usual, because, well, Benjamin sees her every day. This isn’t stringing food in a tree for the tigers, it’s not cleaning the snake enclosures, it’s not a meeting about budgets and bills. It’s a date, one with food and wine and conversation and Kelly wants to look presentable. Speaking of which, at six thirty, Kelly finally decides on something to wear. A simple black dress she feels like she hasn’t worn in at least five years, with cap sleeves and a nice skirt. Rosie would probably like it, because it has the potential to twirl. She pairs the dress with simple black heels, and realizes there’s nothing left for her to do, and still thirty minutes until Benjamin is set to pick her up.

She brushes her teeth again. She reapplies her pink lipstick. She makes sure her legs are still as smooth as they were when she shaved them this morning, and fights her blush when she recalls that her legs weren’t the only thing she’d shaved. She doesn’t normally do  _ that _ on the first date, but it can’t hurt to be prepared. She’s learned that with this particular man, there’s really no telling what any given encounter will lead to. So, her underwear is black too, and matches her bra. Thank God she sent her mother away from the afternoon, because Kelly feels as though she’s reliving her teenage years and is just fine without the taunting she would undoubtedly endure from her mother. 

Finally, at seven o’clock sharp, there’s a knock at her door. She takes a deep breath, smoothes out her skirt, grabs her clutch (filled with lipstick, money, her ID, a few tampons, and a certain foil packet she’d rather not think about-- preparedness is key), and opens the door. 

Benjamin smiles when he sees her, and she can’t help but smile in return. 

“You look incredible,” He determines, and Kelly appreciates the extra once-over he gives her, taking in everything from the smooth legs to the mascara. 

“I try,” She quips, and his smile grows wider.

“Shall we?” He asks, and she wordlessly steps over the threshold, accepting his outstretched arm. 

“You don’t look so bad, yourself,” She comments after a beat, and he doesn’t, not at all. He’s wearing a deep blue polo, dark gray slacks she didn’t even know he owned, and shoes that look as though they’ve never been worn. His hair is combed, swooping in a way that gives Kelly the barely deniable urge to sift her fingers through it, and his cologne is intoxicating. He doesn’t wear it every day, that she’s certain of. If he did, she would have jumped his bones long ago. 

Forcing herself to get her mind out of the gutter, she allows Benjamin to open the car door for her, and focuses on mundane things like dentistry and carbon dioxide emissions for the duration of the drive. This results in a silence that is not entirely comfortable, but it works for ignoring how attracted she is to the man in the driver’s seat. 

After a drive that felt like no time at all, they arrive at the restaurant. It’s cute, a moderately sized Italian kitchen with every shape of pasta you could imagine. The interior is dimly lit with dark wood accents and elaborate light fixtures. Romantic. Hip, even. She wonders how Benjamin knows about it at all. 

As if he can read her thoughts (God, she hopes he can’t), Benjamin is the first to speak,“I get takeout from here sometimes, and pretend I cook it. The kids love it, though I’m pretty sure they know it’s a scam. A guy who screws up pancakes probably can’t make gourmet fettuccine.” Kelly giggles at the story. Actually  _ giggles _ . What the hell has gotten into her? She silently berates herself as Benjamin checks in with the hostess. 

“Come on, pasta isn’t that hard to make. You just boil it, make sure you put basil in the sauce, and it’s passable.”

“Yeah, well, wait until you try this stuff. Life changing.” The hostess gestures for them to follow her, and they oblige without ceasing their conversation. 

“Fine, I’ll raise my expectations. It better not disappoint.” They reach the table and he pulls out her chair for her. Usually, she’d be a bit annoyed at the outdated prospect that women can’t do anything for themselves. Kelly runs a damn zoo, literally filled with wild animals. She knows she’s capable. However, she also knows that Benjamin is doing it with only pure intentions in mind, and unfortunately, she knows that not all men are as thoughtful. 

“Are you implying that your expectations were low?”

He’s got her there. She opens her mouth to attempt a response, but is thankfully interrupted by a request to take their drink orders. They order water, and a bottle of red wine for the both of them. She chuckles to herself, she’s never seen Benjamin drink wine before. Or wear slacks. Or use impeccable manners. Either he’s trying to show off, or he’s just as on edge as she is. She’s willing to bet a sizable fortune on the latter.

“What are you smiling about?” 

“Nothing, just, it’s funny to think about us cleaning shit out of a lion enclosure twelve hours ago. I don’t know.” She shrugs and he breathes a laugh in response.

“I’d say we clean up nice,” Benjamin replies, just as the server arrives with their drinks and pours two glasses of wine. He lifts his, she lifts hers, they say cheers, and from then on, conversation comes easy. 

By the time their food arrives, chicken piccata for Kelly and simple spaghetti for Benjamin, they’ve covered a wide array of topics, but still feel as though they’ve barely scratched the surface. Kelly is on her third glass of wine, and she feels pleasantly warm as she listens to Benjamin talk about his peculiar fascination with Sacagawaea, of all things. 

“Oh, I almost forgot!” Benjamin exclaims when Kelly is in the middle of a bite, “Did I tell you about that asshole reporter who came to my house?”

“What? No.”

“Yeah, he came asking for a comment about something. Nothing good, I assume. He’s the same guy who wrote the article in the Southern California Star about Buster’s escape. I looked for an article, but couldn’t find anything. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad sign.”

“Weird. And the fact that he came to your house… That’s a serious crossing of boundaries.”

“I know. There was something about him I just didn’t like. Felt off.” Benjamin elaborates around a mouthful of spaghetti. As his comfort has increased, the pristine manners have slipped away. Kelly has to admit she doesn’t really mind. On the contrary, she finds it charming. Authentic. 

Kelly takes another bite of her chicken piccata before replying. It has no business being this delicious, she has to give Benjamin credit for his dinner choice living up to his hype. “What was he like? Was he aggressive?” She asks between forkfuls. 

“Not aggressive, necessarily, just… a bit demanding. Said his name was Matthew St. Something.” 

Kelly nearly chokes on her pasta. “Matthew St. Clair?” 

“Yeah, that’s the one. Why? He come by and harass you too?” Benjamin says that as if it holds no importance, moving his noodles around his plate with his fork. 

She closes her eyes in dismay, “Not exactly.”

“I’m getting the feeling you know this guy from more than just begging for a comment.” Benjamin says carefully, noticing her change of energy. 

Is this really where the night’s conversation is headed? “He… I… Matthew St. Clair is my ex-husband.” She says, or stutters, hurriedly. Benjamin’s eyes go wide. 

“Wh-- Okay. Wow.” He pauses to look at her, at the grim expression her face is maintaining, “I’m guessing I was right when I wrote him off as an asshole?”

She scoffs, “You certainly wouldn’t be wrong.” She punctuates the statement with a long swig of Merlot. 

“I recognize that a first date isn’t the most opportune time to be discussing past marriages, but considering I’ve met the guy, now I’m curious. Care to give me the cliff notes version?” He asks with trepidation. Kelly sighs. 

“We met in college. I was a zoology major. Shocker, I know. He was a journalism major. We dated through our senior year, and after graduation, I moved in with him, because why not? He worked at some local newspaper, I worked at Rosemoor. He proposed impulsively during a pregnancy scare that turned out to be negative, but not before he’d talked himself into a corner. We got married, it was fine for two years, until I literally caught him screwing a journalist named Serena or Selena or something. Filing for divorce after that was not something I’d call a chore.” 

“You actually caught him in the act? How often does that even happen?” Benjamin leans forward, as if the details of her marriage are outrageous enough to be featured in  _ Us Weekly _ .

“I don’t know, but the worst part is, is that it wasn’t even in our apartment. It was in  _ my _ car.” 

To her surprise, Benjamin bursts into laughter at that. “I’m sorry. It’s not funny. It’s not.” His words and his sniggering do not align.

Even more to her surprise, she finds herself laughing, too. “I guess it is kind of funny.” 

They both continue to laugh at her past misfortune for several minutes, guffawing born out of disbelief and transitioning into infectious humor. They continue to laugh until they’re both out of breath, and then they laugh some more. When they’re finally finished and Benjamin is wiping a few tears from his eyes, he settles his gaze upon her. It feels more comfortable than anything ever did with Matthew. 

“Why didn’t you tell me your ex-husband was a writer?” He asks after clearing his throat. 

Not for the first time that evening, Kelly shrugs playfully and picks up her wine glass. “Guess I have a type.”

Kelly doesn’t think Matthew  _ ever _ looked at her the way Benjamin is looking at her then. 

* * *

_ “Come on, Kelly, help me out here.” Benjamin pleads after unbuttoning her jeans and struggling to get them down her thighs. _

_ “Help you with takin’ my pants off?” _

_ He shoots her a deadpan glance at her suggestive slur. “Yes.” _

_ “Well okay then, Ben.” She giggles briefly at her rhyme, “-jamin!”  _

_ Benjamin shakes his head in tired amusement. “All right, let’s get you tucked in.” He says, softening his tone and arranging the duvet over her half lying form. _

* * *

Kelly is walking the short distance between Solomon’s enclosure and the tiger exhibit when she hears a distressed cry. A human one. Alarmed, she whips her head in the direction of the noise.

What she sees is less serious than what she feared. Dylan is standing about five yards away, a snake slithering around his foot. It’s nothing, really, a simple native Glossy Snake, but she figures Dylan is still frightened.

“Relax, it’s not going to kill you,” She says calmly as she approaches the teenage boy.

“You’re sure?” He inquires tentatively.

“Mostly.” Dylan’s eyes snap up, startled. “No, seriously, relax. Chances are, he got lost on his way home and couldn’t make it back before sunrise. Glossy Snakes are usually nocturnal. What is it with you and snakes, by the way?” 

He ignores her last remark. “Are they usually this big?”

Kelly studies the snake for a moment and mentally measures it as about two and a half feet long. “They’re usually bigger. This must be a young one.”

She crouches, picking up the snake in the safest way she knows, and Dylan visibly deflates in relief. She walks over to where the path turns to the woods, Dylan awkwardly following behind her. 

“Here you go, little guy,” She coos to the snake as she crouches and releases him, standing to her full height once more as the snake slithers away. She turns to Dylan, who is still standing a few feet behind her, fidgeting his hands like his life depends on it.

“Go on. Whatever you have to say, say it.” She says, squinting a bit in the sunlight.

“I… I’m really sorry for the things I said a few weeks ago. It wasn’t fair to you or to my dad.”

The apology catches her off guard, she’d given up on the prospect of one a week ago. Her posture relaxes a little, and so does the boy’s. She nods in consideration before speaking.

“What brought this on? Me saving your life from a non-venomous snake?”

“Well, that, and… Personal revelation?” He strugglingly explains. Kelly quirks an eyebrow, silently encouraging him to continue. He does. “I know the things I said were unacceptable, and I said them out of anger. Well, anger and fear. I didn’t want my dad to move on because I didn’t want him to let go of my mom, but then… The night he came home from your guys’ date--yes, I know it was a date--I haven’t seen him that happy since before mom got sick.”

Kelly’s breath hitches a little. That’s big in itself, and bigger in that Dylan is the one telling her. She ponders his words as he takes a breath, crossing his arms before speaking again.

“I realized that it wasn’t about Mom. And it certainly wasn’t about me. My dad deserves to be as happy as he was the other night, and you make him that way. So… we’re cool.”

“We’re  _ cool _ ?”

“We’re cool.”

“Good, because I was about to tell Lily to break up with you,” Kelly taunts with a grin. Dylan’s eyes look as if they’ve expanded three sizes, like the Grinch’s heart. She’s probably been spending too much time with Rosie if she’s thinking of Dr. Seuss references that normally don’t enter her stream of consciousness at all.

She lets Dylan squirm for only a second before saying, “I’m kidding! But I am grateful for your apology. It’s very mature of you.” Her tone has turned towards the serious side, and Dylan senses that and mirrors it, nodding.

“I’ve acted like a fool for a year, using what happened to my mom as an excuse. I’m done doing that.”

“Well, I think that’s very respectable.” Kelly replies softly, giving a nod of approval. She watches as Dylan walks away after attempting a tentative smile that looks so much like Benjamin she almost laughs.

* * *

_ “How come you don’t like it when people call you Ben?” Kelly asks, flopping against the pillows.  _

_ “It’s just weird. My dad was called Ben. I was always Benjamin.” _

_ “Were you ever called  _ Benji _ ?” The inflection she puts on the nickname makes it sound even more ridiculous. _

_ Benjamin can’t help but give a goofy chuckle, “Can’t say I was.” _

* * *

It’s New Year’s Eve, about ten thirty in the evening, and the party is in full swing. Well, about as full as a party in the quaint bar of a zoo can possibly swing. The room is filled with good cheer, and Kelly is surrounded by all her favorite people; MacCready is talking to Robin and Nathan to her left (probably about something to do with scotch or bourbon or whiskey or whatever), and Dylan and Lily are giggling over to her right. She smiles at them fondly and takes another sip of her beer, feeling content. By the looks of it, Rosie’s content, too. The little girl is currently playing with her stuffed monkey and a new stuffed giraffe Kelly bought her for Christmas, ecstatic that this is the one day a year that she’s allowed to stay up until midnight. Considering her proximity to the jukebox and how she keeps asking around for spare quarters, she’s probably the reason for the strangely inconsistent music filling the air.

Straight ahead, Benjamin and Duncan are conversing about something that seems to be serious, but could very potentially only seem that way due to Duncan’s constant brotherly worrying. She dismisses it because she knows he cares about Benjamin, and feels a little swell of pride in her chest at the thought that Duncan’s not alone in that. 

Kelly and Benjamin have been on exactly four dates, five if you count the pizza dinner cut short by Dylan. It’s an unspoken though unanimous decision that that one absolutely does not count. The actual dates have been great, one involving ice cream, one involving a trip to the somewhat nearby aquarium with Lily, Dylan, and Rosie, and one involving a movie that both Benjamin and Kelly were very engaged in. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t sarcasm. There has been no kissing since Rosemoor’s opening day. Not one instance. If Kelly’s being honest with herself, she’s kind of frustrated. She wants to kiss Benjamin again, of course she does. If she remembers correctly, he was quite the kisser, and refreshing her memory wouldn’t be at all unpleasant. Hopefully, if she plays her cards right, tonight will be the night. The night she finally gets to feel his soft, plump lips-

“Kelly!” Robin’s voice pulls her from her musings. Rather, it abruptly yanks her back to reality. 

“What, Robin? Your monkey not behaving again?” She taunts, turning toward him. She knows the primate got into Robin’s bedroom and threw shit in his bed last week, about which he was understandably not thrilled. 

Robin rolls his eyes in exaggerated exasperation, “I was just wondering if you had any more salt for the tequila.”

“Let me check, there should be some under the bar.” Robin nods, returning to and resuming his conversation. Even though Kelly swore off tequila after the incident involving Benjamin’s bed, she can still acknowledge the fun said beverage can bring until it doesn’t. She crouches behind the bar, rifling through cabinets, when she hears an all too familiar voice.

“I don’t understand why you’re so worked up about this,” It’s Benjamin. He must still be talking to Duncan, and they probably came over here to grab refills. “You’re the one who told me to get rid of the animals and keep Kelly! That’s what you said, verbatim. I remember.”

Now her interest is piqued, and not necessarily in a good way. 

Duncan’s voice comes next, “Yes, and I meant that, but not like this.” 

“Then what the hell did you mean?” Her not-boyfriend’s voice is tinged with agitation. 

“I don’t know! A hookup. A fling. A rebound.” She hears Benjamin scoff. Kelly feels like she might start dry heaving right there, crouched behind the bar. 

“A  _ rebound _ ? Please. This is not your place, so I’m gonna advise you to stop now.” At least Benjamin seems to share her disgust. 

“Don’t ‘ _ please _ ’ me, you know I have a point. Katherine died, what, a year ago? If that? And now you’ve uprooted your life, moved to a zoo, begun running that zoo as an actual job, and now you’ve got this woman-”

She can practically see Benjamin’s eyebrows raise, “This woman?”

“This woman, whom you’ve been seeing, and I can’t help but wonder if you’re moving a little too fast. What was that last month, a family trip to the aquarium?” Duncan’s voice sounds bitter, almost mocking, and it makes Kelly’s mouth taste like acid. 

“I really like her, okay? I might even-”

“I don’t want to hear it, Benjamin.”  _ Hear what? _ “You’re the one who told me love like what you had with Katherine only comes once a lifetime. You’ve already had that one great love. Why is that not enough? Why not just focus on raising your kids? Why settle?” 

Even though it hurts Kelly’s pride to admit it, that stings. Badly. It’s not the first time she’s heard it, either. Benjamin told her himself, months ago on his porch. The same porch where he later asked her on a date and she impulsively planted a kiss on his cheek that followed her the whole way home. The words stung then too, but that was back when their relationship was nothing more than friendly colleagues who had shared a few too many lingering glances. Now, things are different. Her feelings for him are different, bordering on irretrievable. If something were to drive a wedge between them now, it would be a bitch to get over. And it’s not just those words. It’s Duncan telling Benjamin that she’s what? A  _ settlement _ ? Because she’s not his dead wife, and never will be? Kelly can’t listen any longer. Before Benjamin can respond, she slams the cabinet shut, knowingly commanding the attention of the two men.

“Shit, Kelly-” Benjamin starts.

“I’ve heard enough, Benjamin,” She rises to her full height, salt shaker that was located several moments ago in her hand, and passes it off to Robin as she briskly exits The Jaguar. 

The change in temperature is obvious, the chill outside biting, causing her to wrap her arms around herself and rub her hands up and down, generating friction. She’s almost made it back to her car, the look of the sky telling her it could rain any second now, when she hears his voice. His stupid, persistent voice. 

“Kelly! Kelly, please stop walking!” 

Annoyed, she stops dead in her tracks. She’s irritated and a little hurt (okay, a lot hurt), but she’s unmoving, just as he requested. 

“I was wrong.”

Of all the things she expected to hear him say, that wasn’t one of them. She turns to see Benjamin standing a few feet away from her, waiting. His arms are helplessly at his sides, his hands open in surrender. Kelly narrows her eyes in perplexion and half hearted scrutiny. 

“You… were wrong?”

“When I said the kind of love where… where it’s all consuming, where you can’t escape the person no matter how far you go… when I said that only comes once a lifetime, I was wrong. If you’re lucky enough, really lucky… It can come twice.”

Her breath is shallow and fleeting. “Ben, what are you saying?”

“What do you think I’m saying? I love you, Kelly!” Her heart stops, but he’s nowhere near finished, “I love you. I-I love how you care. You care about the animals, all of them, about my kids, about me, even when you don’t have to. More than you have to. I love your brain, how you know what you’re doing, and what you want. How you look like you know, even when you don’t. I love how you tell me like it is, and you don’t take any shit from me. Not from anyone. Not ever. I love that face you make when you’re trying not to laugh, I-I love how you know when I need someone to talk to, without me having to ask. I love how you tease me about my stupid fashion choices. I love how I’m out of breath right now for absolutely no reason other than that I love you. So much.” 

Kelly’s brain (that Benjamin apparently  _ loves _ ) stops working, stunned into silence or perhaps paralysis, ineffectively processing everything he just said. She doesn’t have time to formulate a response before he’s talking again.

“You- you make me feel a way I never thought I’d feel again. I thought it was impossible. Then I met you, and you… Blew me away. I never saw you coming, but now I- I can’t escape you. I don’t want to escape you. I want you.” He finally finishes, panting a little from the weight of his words, despite not one bit of physical exertion. 

“Benjamin, I…” She trails off, at a loss for words. He seems to take her delayed reaction time as a negative response, and jumps to further explain himself, flustered hands raised to cover his face. 

“God, I’m sorry. I totally just sprung that on you, Jesus. You don’t have to say anything. I’m sorry. Just… Do you love me too? If you don’t, I’ll leave, and we can pretend this never happened. We can go on with our lives, do our jobs like normal. If you don’t, I’ll find a way to get over it. But something tells me that… Maybe you do. Do you?” 

Kelly swallows. It’s a big ask, but as she said to him all those months ago, she’s a big fan of people being who they really are. Screw it. She’s done playing games, done being coy, done using her failed marriage as an excuse to never let anyone in. It put a damper on her self esteem, fostered some trust issues, but looking at her life and looking at Benjamin and the things they’ve both overcome and accomplished, it grounds her. She thinks she may finally be ready, if only for him. She draws a deep breath, her voice struggling to find itself. She nods. “I do.” 

The look on Benjamin’s face is something she’d like to remember for the rest of her life. His cathartic exhale, his relieved-beyond-belief smile, his eyes filling with something she’s too exhilarated to place. This time, it’s his turn to be still with the shock of emotional truth. She said it and she said it sober. When it feels like someone should do something, Kelly speaks again, saying what needs to be said. Saying what she’s been longing to say for longer than she even realized she was. “I love you.”

Suddenly, he’s directly in front of her. “Can I kiss you?” He asks, his voice barely above the gentlest of whispers.

“You don’t have a choice.” She retorts, clutching the fabric of his shirt, kissing him soundly and surely. This time, she’s not going to wait six months to kiss him again. She wants to kiss him every day, if he’ll let her. The way he’s running his tongue over her bottom lip, asking to enter her mouth, and the eagerness with which he ventures inside once she obliges tells her he most certainly will. 

The next time Kelly wears Benjamin’s clothes, it’s not because she threw up on her own, and it’s not because she’s void of options. Half of that old wooden dresser, half of the closet, and half of the bathroom counter space belongs to her now. The next year on New Year’s, they do in fact do this again, just as chilling and magical as the first time. Kelly feels like a ridiculous child thinking of it that way, but it is what it is. Benjamin gets laid that night, which is unsurprising considering how often it happens since Kelly moved in with him.

The New Year’s after that holds yet another kiss, this time after a proposal that gave way to a shiny ring on Kelly’s finger, one she’s not quite sure that Benjamin can even afford. He gets laid that night, too. 

The New Year’s after that is less of a party and more of a stressful rehearsal dinner, full of Kelly trying to avoid bickering with her mother and Benjamin reluctantly accepting Rosie’s pleas to write the peacocks into the ceremony. Years later, she still loves those birds. Dylan cries when his father recites his vows, and not because he’s upset. Benjamin doesn’t get laid that night, unfortunately, but not without lack of trying. Wedding traditions got in the way and all that, but one not so small consolation is that he does get laid the next night. And the next. And the next. 

The following New Year’s, the party is a vessel for the thrilling announcement that their family is growing. Even though alcohol isn’t in the cards that evening and Kelly falls asleep before eleven, her enjoyment isn’t reduced one bit. 

The New year’s after that, the now married couple is nearly unable to make it to The Jaguar altogether, stuck at home tending to five month old twins, calming an overeager twelve year old begging for everything from a phone to a puppy, and dealing with an eighteen year old doing everything in his power to purposefully ensure he breaks curfew. They manage to stop by for a little while, but feeding and sleeping schedules and the rest of the baby nonsense is even more hectic with twice the amount of babies, so reasonably they don’t make it until midnight. It’s a mess, one that is only somewhat functional, but their home  _ has _ always been a zoo. 

* * *

_ Benjamin can’t suppress his smile as Kelly’s uncontrollable drunken giggling continues. “What is so hilarious?” _

_ “I can’t believe I’m in love with a guy named  _ Benji _ .” _

_ Benjamin stops, brain short-circuiting. Kelly seems to sense this and gradually stops her giggling, eyes drooping shut in a matter of seconds as the exhaustion and the alcohol finally overcome her.  _

_ He chooses to ignore her last statement, instead muttering a simple, “Goodnight, Kelly.” She gives a sleepy grunt in response.  _

_ Benjamin waits until her breathing is even with sleep before speaking again, a barely audible whisper. _

_ “And I can’t believe  _ Benji _ loves you right back.” _

* * *

Although sometimes Benjamin still feels insane, in those moments where he thinks  _ who am I what am I doing how did I get here _ , he knows he finally found his ultimate adventure. It wasn’t the killer bees, it wasn’t the hurricane, it wasn’t buying the zoo. 

It was everything that came after. 

**Author's Note:**

> PS I named the Kenjamin twin offspring Finn & Maggie in my head


End file.
